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Facebook gets real with the kids over that privacy thing

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By Simon Davies

Facebook is partnering with the National Association of Attorneys General in the US to launch a privacy awareness campaign for teenagers. This could well be a disaster in the making so Privacy Surgeon decided to create this helpful template and translation so out-of-touch executives and lawmakers can reach the right demographic.

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Bless-up dudes! (Translation: Dear Facebook user)

We wanna do some real talk about the privacy thing. The yute don’t want some wanksta jackin’ their info, so here’s some advice. (Translation: We are writing to talk to you about privacy. Young people like you don’t want personal information compromised by criminals. Here we provide useful guidance for a safer interaction with the Facebook community)

The yute don’t want some wanksta jackin’ their info,

Chillax! It’s like butter. You don’t want infiltration. That sucks big time. (Translation: The user interface is surprisingly easy to understand. You don’t want to have your privacy invaded. That would create a negative user experience)

Check out the privacy settings or epic fail! They’re awesome, but loads of yute don’t exploit them. That’s cray cray. Remember it’s tope to be safe. (Translation: Go to the privacy section of your account. Failing to do so equates to a lapse of due diligence on your part under the Facebook Rights and Responsibilities guidance  The current settings are more intuitive than earlier versions but many young people still don’t use them. Keep in mind that it’s highly credible in the youth ecosystem to protect your information)

Don’t boost your scrilla or you’ll get pwned by some lame derp, fo sho.

Use your head. Like, don’t boost your scrilla or you’ll get pwned by some lame derp, fo sho. (Translation: Avoid ostentatious behaviour that may draw attention to aspects of your life that you may want to keep private or secure. The outcome almost certainly would be an increase in risk of attack).

Spread the word! Check your mains aren’t your frenemies. (Translation: It’s important to raise these issues with other Facebook users. Try to ensure that your friends don’t inadvertently publish private information about you),

Till later dudes! (Translation: We’ll be back in touch once we’ve integrated this advice into the Facebook Terms and Conditions)