Category Archive: Satire

Google reveals the secret of its success: “dolphin power”

By Simon Davies It has been revealed that Google executives derive their power from dolphins. Well, from the metaphor of dolphins. This surprising news comes courtesy of the personal blog of Peter Fleischer, Google’s global privacy counsel. After launching into yet another diatribe against Europe’s rule of law (which are always entertaining) he poetically reflects: …

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White House announces sweeping plans to fully privatise the NSA by 2017

Simon Davies In a sweeping move intended to bring reform to America’s embattled National Security Agency, President Obama today announced that the NSA will be fully privatised by 2017. Under the nine-point plan all data under the control of the agency will be sold off to such companies as Experian and Choice Point and “new, …

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2013 was the year that privacy satire became meaningless

By Simon Davies Amidst mind-blowing scandals and sensational revelations, 2013 became a landmark year for privacy awareness. However one unfortunate consequence is that it’s now difficult to get away with satirical writing on the subject. Many people believe that even the most outlandish spoof is straight reporting of the truth. Like other sites, Privacy Surgeon …

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Outrage builds as thousands of Google Glass eye-pieces become fused with the faces of users

By Simon Davies In a bizarre incident described by scientists as “Frankenstinian”, the faces of thousands of Google Glass users have been chemically fused with the controversial technology. The phenomenon took place just after midday EST Wednesday when Glass users in the US and Europe began reporting on Twitter that they were unable to remove …

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Eight really irritating things that annoyed us in 2013

By Simon Davies Most of us expend a big chunk of our energy getting annoyed at the idiocy that surrounds us. Sometimes we wake up irritated and stay that way for much of the day. Our daily irritation is peppered by countless annoyances to the point where we become infuriated. Then people call us irrational, …

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Privacy Surgeon offers a $1,000 bounty for capture of the DNA and fingerprints of spy chiefs

By Simon Davies The Privacy Surgeon is offering a $1,000 cash bounty for anyone who sends us an item – such as a drinking glass – with the DNA and fingerprints of any senior intelligence official of the “Five Eyes” alliance of spy agencies. The aim of this bounty-hunt is not to actually use the …

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An exciting new Periodic Table reveals the elements of surveillance

By Simon Davies Getting to grips with how the world ended up under a blanket of extensive surveillance can be a challenge, even for the experts. Surveillance is now so deeply embedded in our societies and legal systems that understanding its causes is a full-time task. With this in mind Privacy Surgeon is pleased to …

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Revealed: David Cameron’s threat to Europe over NSA spying

   By Simon Davies   24th October 2013   The Honorable José Manuel Barroso President, European Commission 1049 Brussels, Belgium   Dear President Barroso, I am writing to express my government’s disappointment over certain aspects of the inquiry into global national security arrangements which is currently being conducted by factions of the European Parliament. As you …

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Finally, an online censorship plan we can all support

  By Simon Davies  You don’t need to be a crazed authoritarian to realise that the UK government’s plan to introduce universal Internet filtering for porn content doesn’t go anywhere near far enough. Authorities need to adopt stronger measures if they are to deal with the true scale of online obscenity. By way of background, …

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“The Maryland Rag” – a new NSA love song

By Simon Davies In 1969, during the great Woodstock music festival, a band called Country Joe and the Fish took to the stage and famously performed one of the most powerful anti-war tunes of the era – the “I-Feel-Like-I’m-fixin’ to-die-rag“, popularly known as the Vietnam Song. Although Country Joe was (only just) successfully sued some decades later …

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