Category Archive: Satire

Game of Thrones meets the world of privacy. See who our poll reveals as privacy’s GoT nasties and heroes.

  Game of Thrones is filled with intrigue, deception, redemption, conflict, heroism and deal-cutting. That sounds scarily like the world of privacy. So – we wondered – who are characters in the privacy world that most resemble those in Game of Thrones? The Privacy Surgeon recently published a poll to ask this very question. To …

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The secret diary of a Neo-Nazi

  As narrated to Simon Davies   Dear Diary, 8AM Well, here it is. The Big Push. Must get myself ready for the march. Every other guy in this country is probably still in bed, fondling their black boyfriend, but not me! I’m up and about, bopping to Rage Against The Machine. Might take a …

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A Facebook user reveals what people really want from the site – and it’s a scary prospect.

By a Facebook user (as revealed to Simon Davies)   Facebook is living out some weird fantasy that it knows what people want. No it doesn’t. It’s clunky and full of useless bits that mess with your head and waste your energy. It’s time Facebook learned the truth about what we REALLY want out of …

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Twelve great images of privacy humour

No. 1 No. 2 No. 3 No. 4 No. 5 No. 6 No. 7 No. 8 No. 9 No. 10 No. 11 No. 12

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Data Protection complaint lodged against Santa Claus over unlawful mass surveillance

By Simon Davies Following a complaint to the Icelandic Prime Minister over surveillance activities by Christmas trolls, the Privacy Surgeon has escalated its campaign against intrusive Christmas entities by writing to Russian president Vladamir Putin to formally complain about mass surveillance being routinely conducted by Santa Claus. The complaint is set out below. 20th December 2016 …

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Rant: A new style of online news headline has emerged – and it’ll make you so angry you’ll explode.

By Simon Davies Astute readers will have noted – probably with dismay – the rise of a new genre of online news headline. It’s a style that has the potential to become even more infuriating than the syntactic ambiguity of the “red top” tabloids (e.g. “Headless Body in Topless Bar“). These emergent headlines are maddening …

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The twenty privacy principles translated into Spanish

With huge thanks to our friend and Privacy Surgeon collaborator Gemma Galdon Clavell for this translation Los 20 principios sobre la privacidad que no te enseñarán en la escuela Por Simon Davies PRINCIPIOS GENERALES 1.    Las organizaciones responsables describen la privacidad como un ‘derecho’, las que no se enteran hablan de ella como un ‘valor’ …

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The twenty privacy principles they never taught you at school

By Simon Davies GENERAL PRINCIPLES 1. Responsible organisations describe privacy as a “right”, unaware ones talk of it as a “value” and bad players lambast it as an “interest”. 2. Most people in power only support privacy rights when they’re about to get dumped into a scandal. 3. Claims of a conflict between privacy and …

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18 things that will happen to your life when you become a privacy advocate

By Simon Davies Ever been curious about what will happen to your life when you become concerned about privacy? Here’s the Privacy Surgeon’s warning guide to what you can expect.   1. You won’t trust anything digital, ever again – and you especially won’t trust any product that claims it’ll protect your privacy. 2. Although …

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The official (and insulting) 2016 privacy horoscope

2016 will be a momentous year for all the astrological houses. Privacy, in particular, will be massively influenced by a shift from air and water, to earth and fire. Here, Simon “the oracle” Davies analyses the charts and presents the definitive privacy horoscope for the year ahead.   Aries: March 21 – April 19 As …

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